Gym Beats.

Everyone has their driving beats. ACDC, Coldplay, done-to-death rock lists. Stuff that makes your journey more road trip than supermarket trip. Gyms are way different.

As a gym newbie I thought I’d rip some tunes, and rip myself muscles to particular songs. Sorted. Well, in my head anyway. But I wasn’t exercising my head unfortunately.

I now realise that you can’t have a gym playlist. Not in the gyms I go to. The tunes have to be able to drown out the background gym musak, typically 1Direction or R&B, interspersed with ads for teen makeup or no-win-no-fee solicitors. Anyhoo, I digress.

What tends to happen between my headphones stays there, so I’m not gonna bore you to death with my ten favourite ab-cruncher tracks, or how many chest-press reps I can get to a particular Calvin Harris mash-up. My playlists are like my bank PIN. If I tell you: I have to kill you. The lists are probably similar to others in that once tracks are in, than they tend to stay there. Which led to my first major gym indiscretion.

Thus, content to secret myself away in my little world of music I finished my workout. Odd tracks I hadn’t heard for years were blasting out. Like the “AudioDJ” app on the MP3 player  had found an old box of albums under the stairs and was discovering ageing bands for the first time.

I decided, three more sets of ten reps on the chest press and AWAY!

I got up to go change, when “AudioDJ” dusted off Bee Gees “Staying Alive”. Only when I was half way back along the gym, I realised I was doing “The Walk”. All I needed was the can of paint! Two women were watching me from their exercise bikes. The more I tried to walk normally; the more I couldn’t. I was surprised they didn’t applaud as I exited.

“Good workout?” asked the guy in the changing room, referring to my very red face.

“Yeah, sort of” I replied. Unsure if he’d seen me too.

Mental note, and my wholesome advice to all gym users. Review cringe worthy tracks and delete!


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