The Politics of the Gym. And I can’t be bothered voting

I’m a newcomer to the gym. Mature, but new to it. And do you notice the infinitive is always used with ‘gym’? It’s that important. Even I do it now. After a month. My free month at the start of my membership. Well it’s actually six weeks, but that’s not for here.

I thought, well, the gym-guy shows you the ropes and all the machines and you just get on with it. He did. And I did.

But it’s more complicated than that. It’s the other gym folks, and importantly how you fit in to it all. And the more you try to fit in: the more you become one of the outgroups. Oh yeah, I’m gonna ‘minimal group paradigm’ myself here as one of the normal, good guy types. And why not?! I wouldn’t associate with any of the ones below. Trust me.

Gyms provide sprays and paper towels. Use them! Why do some guys (always male) think it’s ok to sweat buckets over a machine, than leave their ghostly imprint in rancid perspiration for someone else to clean. haven’t they heard of PVL Staphylococcal strains! Yuk.

Not as ‘yuk’ however as the odd types (male again) who think it’s de rigeur to spit in the drink fountain. Surreptitiously, so they think no one notices, then have a drink. ALWAYS bring your own drinks. Just do it! (Ah, so that’s what Nike meant!)

Machine hoggers. You know them. Either sex, sit on the bikes/machine/treadmill chat to mates, watch the TV, generally preen. You know them? They know themselves! Stop it right now.

Now this next category of outgroup is a particular bane of mine. Young females who ask the attendants to change TV channels to some dire music one. Think “4 Music”. Then get the guy to crank up the volume………and leave the gym five minutes later. The reason most peeps wear headphones in the gym is to muffle the sound of the crappy TV music channels. Gym bosses think on!

Arrrgh! That’s enough already. Gym politics? I’m really not interested, and don’t get me started on gym shower politics!

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